After a thirteen year slug, twelve of which at the Anglican girl school St Catherine's, I have finally finished my schooling life and completed the dreaeded HSC. And what have I accomplished in this time? Certainly my life has not been uneventful and I have dealt with the normal school pressures, but being good friends with child prodigies does leave one self with a certain feeling of inadequacy, I will never be able to claim that I am as intelligent as Jessica, as motivated as Isabelle, as cultured as Hannah or as smart as Kathryn, and this is only the beginning of my friends.
Despite this impressive benchmark set by those around I still feel proud of my own, albeit smaller, accomplishments and success of schooling life. The first of which is shared with all the class of 07, and it is of course surviving. This may sound the easiest of tasks, but it is not as simple as it sounds, the horrors of peer pressure, load of school work and nightmare of 'just what am I going to do with the rest of my life' is not just for teen flicks but a very real weight on our minds. And let us start with the most mass media exploited topic,the horrors of peer pressure.
The worst years were surprisingly the youngest, while it was not the jungle displayed in Mean Girls, we did have our own plastics, however we called them 'The Populars'. Despite school intervention these girls seemed intent on making us, the social inept, feel bad. I won't bore you with a retelling of the stories, it also would not be just to these girls who not only matured mentally but also ethically. As we started to grow up and enter high school things improved, if only slightly, and I place this improvement on two simple points, the first of which was a conclusion if people are going to be mean to me for being wired then I'll show them just how weird I can be. As I started to come out of my shell, other girls, also socially inept, found me. This friendship group became a unshakable source of loyalty and help. The second thing that drastically lead to an improvement, mostly because of how drastically it changed my view of life, was a decision to accept the Christian faith. Having a number of friends who are strongly atheist this was not an easy thing to do, and it is without question one of my strongest achievements, mostly because of how much stronger it made me.
Now with the 'Populars' growing up and entering my own faith and friendship group school did get a lot easy... however as the peer pressure let up the school load continued to increase exponentially. Entering year 11 I chose a very ambitious and questionable path, and this was in my subjects. I put myself down for 14 units with 4 major works, the school, and also my more mentally stable peers, tried to persuade me otherwise. However I pushed through and continued with this workload into year 12. But as I quickly realised that my mathematical interest had dipped into the negative side of the number plane, and that my fourth unit of English was not what I expected at all, I dropped down to 11 units and 3 major works. Still a notable challenge to any committed student. Things were made worse by the fact that I still would not consider myself a 'committed student', subjects that truly captured my excitement and interest I could study endlessly, such as art making, English extension one 'revenge tragedy' and Ancient History (which I am planning to study in 09 at Macquarie). I remember drastically one lunch breaking down on the J-floor at school into hysterical sobs because I felt I was loosing control. For parents trying to understand what their children go through at the HSC, picture if you will a giant train, with you at the control, no understanding of where this will lead of even how to steer, you only have one choice, keep shovelling coal and hope to stay on the rails.
Through all this I survived, and no matter what the UAI I receive on the 20th I chose to be proud of that achievement alone. That is not to say I am not desperately praying for a number higher then the required 83 to get me into my desired course, but should I miss out I will mourn it only briefly. I have little doubt that this mindset comes from the loving support of my beloved family, while society and the school secretly work into your subconscious that, 'if you don't study hard, you won't get a good UAI, if you don't get a good UAI you won't get into a good university, if you don't get into a good university you wont get a good job, if you don't get a good job you might very well die alone in the gutter'. Of course no one is ever this direct. In contrast to this my family never let me forget the possibilities that life held regardless of the HSC or UAI
But what of my other achievements, one I'm certain that not many other students could claim, and that is that by the age of 16 I had finishd the skeleton of my first manuscript. As I was continuously told off for my poor spelling and incorrect use of grammar I began to nurture a dream of creative writing. And now after two years of on and off editing I will start the search for an agent and seek to get my book published. This manuscript has to a degree engulfed my life and is never far from my thoughts, nor will I ever consider it finished as like most artists I am always thinking of that little adjustment that could be done to my work in the fruitless endeavor for perfection.
Like most students I have found a love in school sport, and in year 7 I found my favorite sport... field hockey... after all what other sport would allow you to charge at an opponent brandishing a stick that could be considered a lethal weapon? After only a semester playing I was moved into the position of goalie, and have not left it since. As I started to believe in my own skill levels I went in search of more experience and an opportunity to play at more advanced levels. I joined the UNSW hockey team for the Eastern Districts competition. Originally placed in team 2, a source of constant amusement as this was the team that my school coach played for, I was moved down into teams 4 and 5 with girls my own age. And now that the pressures of school are finished I hope to move into more serious competition and higher teams, one good thing about playing goalie is there will ALWAYS be a need for you in the team.
Sport and my friends have played an important role in my school life, and anytime I am able to help the team by stopping the goal, or, if the reff isn't looking, by knocking over an opponent, or to comfort my friends and make their day that little bit brighter I consider in my highest achievements. Other things such as my trial mark for DT, my status as an ancient history whizz kid and managing to read Wuthering Heights (which was more painful then junior school was) are also things that I find myself smiling at the memory of. I am proud of my last thirteen years and am looking forward to the new freedom that has just been bestowed on the class of 07.
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